We’ve talked about the journey of feeling sexy and desirable, even as our bodies gracefully evolve with life’s experiences. Now, let's dive deeper into the delicious realm of sensuality, where touch, anticipation, and shared pleasure reign supreme, especially from the perspective of a loving partner.

I feel the need to express the following before you read this whole article!
Let's be real, life throws curveballs, and sometimes, that means our sex lives take a little detour. This isn't about striving for constant perfection in the bedroom. Instead, it's about recognizing that true intimacy is built on a foundation of deeper love and connection.

There will be nights when passion takes a backseat due to life's circumstances. But even when physical intimacy is off the table, the loving actions continue. A comforting hug, a listening ear, a shared quiet moment – these acts of love, my friends, are the secret ingredients that build an even more profound connection, leading to even more fulfilling and explosive climaxes when the time is right. It’s in these moments of shared vulnerability and unwavering support that our bond truly deepens, making every intimate encounter that follows even more extraordinary.

NOW... Let's dive in!

For men: rediscovering that "sexy wife" magic is need to be less about a rewind and more about a thrilling evolution of deep connection.
Women, Getting your sexy back isn't solely about achieving a past physical ideal; It's about not finding the time, but making the time for your partner.
It's about a profound mutual acceptance and learning to please each other in the most intimate ways. For women, especially after the incredible journey of growing and birthing a human, this acceptance is paramount. Guys, it's time to shed the unrealistic expectations perpetuated by glossy magazines showcasing airbrushed perfection. Instead, focus on the astonishing power and resilience of the beautiful woman beside you. Her body has performed a miracle, and recognizing that incredible feat is the true foundation of her sexiness. Make her feel that power, that beauty, and that desirability, not in spite of what her body has done, but because of it.

The Magic of His Little Things
My sweetie has an art for those intimate gestures that truly ignite a woman's desire. He understands that, like a slow-burning fire, the warmth that truly satisfies builds gradually and lingers. These are the moments that awaken a deep yearning within me to cherish him back. He'll surprise me with a spontaneous bouquet, or sense the exhaustion in my voice and whisk away the evening's chores with a simple, "I'm cooking tonight" – a sweet code for dinner is handled! And when he takes my hand, a silent invitation, and leads me to our bathroom, where a warm jacuzzi awaits, candles cast a soft, flickering glow, and the lights are dimmed to a whisper. These are the building blocks that awaken the desire to be all he needs me to be sexually.

Rekindling the Flame A Mutual Dance
The Art of Giving and Receiving
When we speak of rekindling the flame, it encompasses more than just receiving romantic gestures. It's also about being the source of that warmth. Just as my husband's thoughtful actions create a desire within me to please him, my own willingness to initiate, to express my affection, and to create moments of connection actively fuels his passion in return. It's in the whispered words of appreciation, the lingering touch, the shared laughter that turns into a knowing gaze, and the proactive efforts to create intimacy, both emotionally and physically.

Embracing  Evolution and Igniting Passion
In growing into your Best Self I've discovered that becoming a more confident and alluring woman is an inside job. It's about embracing the wisdom etched by life's experiences and understanding the depths of my own being.

Many of us navigate shifts in our partnerships over time. Speaking from my own heart, I can tell you that even with the beautiful marks my body carries from life's journey, my husband makes me feel utterly captivating. Men, this must be a priority if you want that tigress back!

Understanding Each Other's "Hot Buttons"
This two-way street means understanding what truly ignites your partner's spirit and being willing to engage those sparks. It's about learning their unique Love Language, recognizing the subtle cues that signal their needs and desires, and responding with genuine enthusiasm. Conversely, it also involves being open and vulnerable enough to communicate our own needs, letting our partner know what makes us feel desired and cherished. When both individuals feel seen, heard, and actively pursued, the flame doesn't just reignite; it blazes brighter than before.

The Art of Anticipation: Building Desire Brick by Sensual Brick

True sensuality isn't just about the destination; it's about the exhilarating journey. As a woman, you possess an innate power to build anticipation. This can start with subtle gestures, yes ladies, even when your dead tired!

• The Lingering Gaze: Catching his eye across the room, holding it a moment longer than usual, a hint of a smile playing on your lips. It’s a silent invitation, a whispered promise.
• Strategic Touch: A gentle brush of your hand as you pass, a lingering touch on his arm during a conversation, a playful caress of his cheek. These small acts send ripples of awareness, reminding him of your presence and your allure.
• Scent as Seduction: Rediscover a signature scent, or perhaps explore new, captivating fragrances. A spritz on pulse points can be an irresistible olfactory invitation that lingers long after the initial application. Think of it as your personal siren call.

For men, recognizing and responding to these subtle cues is key. It’s about being present and attuned to your wife’s evolving expression of desire.

• The Appreciative Glance: When she initiates a sensual moment, meet her gaze with admiration. Let your eyes convey your appreciation for her beauty, her confidence, and the desire she’s igniting within you.
• Reciprocate the Touch: Respond in kind with equally gentle, yet confident, touch. A hand on her lower back as she walks through a doorway, a tender caress of her hair, a warm embrace that speaks volumes.
• Verbal Affirmation: Don't underestimate the power of words. Whispering something like, "You smell incredible," or "I love when you look at me like that," can amplify her feelings of desirability and encourage more intimate connection.

From Everyday to Extraordinary: Elevating Intimate Moments

Women, let's infuse the mundane with a touch of the magical. Intimacy isn't confined to the bedroom; it can blossom in unexpected moments throughout your day.

• Sensual Mornings: Instead of rushing out of bed, (get up brush your teeth, and get back in bed) carve out a few extra minutes. A slow, lingering kiss can lead to morning bliss! A shared coffee in soft lounging's, or even a playful tickle fight can set a sensual tone for the day.
• The "Just Because" Treat: Surprise each other with a thoughtful gesture that indulges each others needs. A warm bath drawn with scented candles, a gentle massage after a long day, or simply leaving a sweet, handwritten note expressing your affection. These acts say, "I see you, I desire you, and you are worth celebrating."
• Shared Experiences of Pleasure: Explore new ways to connect physically that go beyond traditional intercourse. Think of it as expanding your sensual playground. Experiment with different types of touch, explore each other’s bodies with curiosity and playfulness, and discover what brings each of you unique pleasure. Practices like Tantra, (more about this in another article!) which focus on deepening connection through conscious touch and breath, can be incredibly rewarding in this regard.

Men, remember that your wife’s desire is often amplified by your own genuine interest and participation, it cannot always be "can we just have sex" Yes, there will be times when that is all you have time for, however, building this strong safe, fun, loving relationship will be the foundation for the times when, ladies, your tired and do not feel like it....and men, because of the foundation you have built, she will be more open to that, "ok lets just do it" night.

• Initiate with Intention: Don't wait for the other to always make the first move. Take the lead with a confident, affectionate invitation. Your initiation shows that you are engaged and actively desiring to please. Ladies, men cannot read our minds, to often they do not initiate because of fear of being shut down. and men, if you are not doing any of the above and just expect great sex.. well, you usually end up with none. You are not showing that you appreciate her and care.
• Focus on Her Pleasure: Be attentive to her responses, her sighs, her subtle movements. Prioritize her enjoyment, and you'll find that your own pleasure is amplified in the process.
• Focus on His Needs: You cannot just lay there, be involved, give him as much pleasure as he gives you.
• Embrace Playfulness: Intimacy should be fun! Don't be afraid to inject humor, laughter, and lightheartedness into your intimate moments. This reduces pressure and creates a more relaxed, joyful connection. I remember one night, it just came out of my mouth before I even thought about... right from the movie Mrs. Doubtfire: "Brace yourself Effie" and we both just started laughing...

The Everlasting Allure: A Partner's Perspective

For men cherishing their wives, the "sexy wife" isn't a trophy from the past, but a vibrant, evolving partner. It's about appreciating the beauty that life has sculpted into her.

• See Her Through Your Heart: Recognize that beauty and sexiness are not solely about external appearances but deeply rooted in the shared history, the strength she possesses, and the love that binds you.
• Champion Her Confidence: Your unwavering admiration and encouragement are powerful catalysts for her self-assurance. Let her know that you find her more beautiful and desirable now than ever before, precisely because of the life you’ve built together.
• Communicate Your Desire Openly: Don't assume she knows. Tell her. Express your physical and emotional attraction. Really knowing how to please each other is far more rewarding than a fleeting one-night stand with someone who might be perceived as having a "perfect body." It's about the deep, intimate connection and mutual discovery that makes lovemaking truly fun and fulfilling. When you vocalize your desire, you validate her and reinforce your connection.

This journey of rekindling desire is an ongoing, sensual dance. By embracing vulnerability, cherishing each other's evolving selves, and infusing everyday moments with playful sensuality, you can ensure that the spark not only remains but ignites into an even more passionate and fulfilling flame.

Final Thoughts:

Making time for each other is a must. 

Ladies, this will be hard to hear however its true. My mother told me years ago. To keep a relationship from going stale, be a lady in public and a Trollop in the bedroom... she was right!
When your sexual, intimate relationship stays fun, exhilarating and is built on a strong foundation, it will not matter if you have stretch marks, a pouch, extra weight, or sagging boobs! Keeping a man's attention is A LOT about sex.. after all, that is how you "got" him in the first place.

Men, when you were chasing her, before you got her, you would do anything! walk 10 miles with flowers, take time to kiss and flirt with her, buy her gifts, go out of your way to show her how special she was to you. Treat her like the queen you showed her she was before you got into her pants, and she will treat you like the stud you are before she let you into her pants!

Back to table of contents